scoutl:

OP is infected with the cheese touch

vhsmeme:

a shit ton of lines from different vines.

• ‘ look at all those chickens. ’ 
• ‘ i’ve always wanted to do this! ’
• ‘ i fell down the stairs. i hate when nobody shares. ’
• ‘ can you tell me a bedtime story? ’
• ‘ bro, you can’t tell anybody. ’  
• ‘ yeah, i’m good. i’m just happy for you.’ 
  
• ‘ dude, it’s like we kissed! ’
  
• ‘ TAKE THE PICTURE! ’ 
• ‘ oh, my god. we just locked eyes. ’
• ‘ yooo! ’ 
• ‘ you look upset. ’
• ‘ i got bit by a spider. it gave me superpowers! ’
• ‘ i’d be a unicorn. because no one believes in me. ’
• ‘ yeaaah, yeaaah. ’ 
• ‘ the only fitness here is me fitting this pizza in my mouth! ’
  
• ‘ well, i don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die. ’
• ‘ girl, you look fierce today! WE LOVE IT. ’
• ‘ can i get a waffle? can i PLEASE get a waffle? ’
  
• ‘ I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH! ’ 
• ‘ i’ll beat your ass if that’s a ticket. ’ 
• ‘ you want some vodka? ’
• ‘ road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does. ’
  
• ‘ i smell like beef. ’
• ‘ you better STOP YELLING. ’
• ‘ your secret’s safe with me. ’
• ‘ and we are two very supportive guys. ’
  
• ‘ MY BEST FRIEND POOPED HIS PANTS! ’
  
• ‘ honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’. ’  
• ‘ fuck you, that’s why! ’
  
• ‘ yeah, no shit, honey! ’ 
• ‘ today’s forecast. we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. fucked. up. ’
  
• ‘ is that a weed? i’m calling the police! ’
  
• ‘ just shut up and die slowly, okay? ’ 
• ‘ i sneezed! ’
  
• ‘ i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party. ’
  
• ‘ hey, how you doing? ’ 
• ‘ i’m doin’ just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside ’
  
• ‘ oh my god, why can’t you just take the fricken compliment! ’
  
• ‘ and they were roommates! ’
  
• ‘ i wanna fucking die. ’
  
• ‘ you remember one time i liked you? ’
• ‘ yo, drink this vodka down the hatch. c’mon. ’
  
• ‘ mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick! ’
  
• ‘ he needs some milk! ’
  
• ‘ the yo-yo master did not answer. he just kept on yo-ing ’
  
• ‘ WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS? ’
  
• ‘ bored as sheeeet. ’
  
• ‘ do you ever shut the fuck up? ’
  
• ‘ welcome back to me screaming.   ’
  
• ‘ sorry, i’m on the toilet. ’
• ‘ babe, are you serious? ’
  
• ‘ i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room.  ’
  
• ‘ NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! ’ 
• ‘ you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD. boogie woogie woogie. ’ 

hey I’m Ben Segal and I’m not in the book and was only in two films like once

toplad:

pupsnout:

I had a dream abt weed

thisguyknowswhatimtalkingabout:

Shakira Shakira

constantcogdis: